Ant Rants - Brrr 01/02/12
I’ve never been a big fan of fleece. My wife wears it like armour against cold on a regular basis. In fact, I describe her choice of bed wear as an “impenetrable wall of fleece”. It’s very romantic. But, as I write this, I am encased in so much fleece, I doubt even a bullet would be able to pierce it. Last Friday, our boiler packed in. For the three weeks prior it had been making noises I previously only thought possible by whales. I was expecting Attenborough to pop up behind the sofa at any given moment and reveal we were, in fact, stars of his latest wildlife documentary. To give the old boiler its dues (note to self: “the old boiler” would make a suitable nickname for the mother-in-law) it was long overdue for failure. About 5 years ago we were told that it would break down in 6 months. Unfortunately for us, it has finally sputtered to a bitter end just as a cold snap hits our region. Talk about timing! Personally, I think it chose this moment intentionally as revenge for all the occasions we mocked its inefficiency. So, as I busied myself fetching coal and chopping up anything wooden I found in our garage, my wife entered the “Quotation Minefield”. We’ve had salespeople over who took the “I’m your best buddy” approach, and others that followed the “very official” line. It’s so difficult for the layperson to know who to believe! Thankfully, a friend of a friend (aren’t they just the best type of friends?!) supplied us with the number of someone she knew we could trust. Anyway, back to my fleece. I am wrapped head to toe in it at the minute with just my fingers and eyes sticking out (looking remarkably alien) as some nice fellas are currently ripping my loft to shreds in order to install a new boiler. I haven’t had the nerve to tell them yet that I have no way of paying them, but I’ll cross that - hopefully much warmer - bridge when I come to it. It should make for interesting conversation/running for my life. In the meantime, at least we don’t have to start each morning by chipping ice off the children!
Highfive
Ant
